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The Dark Side Head-To-Head Challenge:One was a sinister place that broke people's souls and stole their hope, the other a delightful soul who gave everyone hope. We reverently compare No Hope Pope and The Almighty Pope, His Holiness.
No Hope Pope vs. His Holiness, The Pope
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| About two thousand sad, demoralized, feeble and disgruntled troops count the days until they can flee from this godforsaken place. | FOLLOWERS: | Millions of loyal people in 6 continents keep the faith in his Holiness. Edge: His Holiness |
| No Hope, Hell, The Flying Circus Edge: No Hope Pope |
NICKNAMES: |
His Holiness, Father |
| Patton-wannabes, Little Boo Boo Bears, The Man | ALLIES: |
Priests, Cardinals, Saints, Angels Edge: His Holiness |
| This place can squash anyone's good attitude, suck away all motivation and destroy any
morale. Edge: No Hope Pope |
SPECIAL POWERS: |
He has performed Miraculous Healings |
| Hundreds of out-of-date publications whose rules are ignored anyways - all to the benefit of THE MAN | AUTHORITY: |
The Bible, an aged and time-tested religious text, handed down, reproduced, and quoted
in sermons. Edge: His Holiness |
| The crumbling infestation known as The Air Force Base whose prime real-estate is between pristine Spring Lake and the glorious Fort Bragg. | RESIDENCE: |
The delightful and grandiose Palace in Vatican City Edge: His Holiness |
And the winner is: Well, to be frank, no one can stand against the forces of good and Holy. However, our darkest hours seem to rest in the dark shadows cast by No Hope Pope.
The Dark Side Head-To-Head Challenge: One was a world-renouned tactician and leader, the other was renounced by the world and lacked-in-tact. We dare to compare the REAL Patton with the reincarnate immitation...
General George S. Patton vs. Patton part deux
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| He dazzled The Allies with his plan for Operation Overlord : the D-Day invasion of
Normandy Edge: Gen. Patton |
ACHIEVEMENTS: | He forced innocent victims to live in the sub-human filth infestation of Camp McKall |
| He commanded Allied Forces in Europe during the big one: WWII Edge: Gen. Patton |
OCCUPATION: |
He was Proud Ringmaster of the 43d Flying Circus |
| He drove the original Willy's Jeep | VEHICLE: |
He drives a posh BMW Z-3 Roadster (slightly dented) Edge: Patton part deux |
| He Graduated from the US Military Academy | EDUCATION: |
He took top honors at Moamar Qadafi's Lunatic Academy Edge: Patton part deux |
| He had a classic movie made in deep reverence to the accomplishments in his life Edge: Gen. Patton |
THE BIG SCREEN: |
He has a cameo appearance in the "suicide prevention" training video |
| Thousands of soldiers, tanks, aircraft, artillery pieces, ships, submarines... Edge: Gen. Patton |
WEAPONS: |
A lucky pearl-handled .45 - carried concealed, of course |
And the winner is: Although Patton part deux can inflict greater pain and suffering, we would rather let the Real Gen. Patton lead us against the forces of evil -- as long as the perdiem was high, and we were put up in a decent 5-star or better hotel.
SQUADRON READ FILE B
99-69A
MESSAGE FROM: 43d Flying Circus
SUBJECT: New Category for Aircraft Status
Posted 2 June 1999
For those of you who previously thought that the planes could only be FMC, PMC and NMC, wow, have we got a treat for you! Well, since we consistently prove that we have no spine; and we repeatedly display our disregard for safety, here is the new category. From this instant on, aircraft may now be deemed NMC WTF - that is Non-Mission Capable, Waivered To Fly. Now, any RED X condition can be 'waivered.' Flap problems? Fuel leaks? Flame-outs? No big deal. Just mark NMC WTF on the board and PRESTO, good to go. This further supports our creed: "Mission First, People Last." And of course our motto: "Anywhere, Always Late."
99-70
MESSAGE FROM: THE MAN
SUBJECT: You Are Grounded
Posted 12 October 1999
Any crewmembers found wearing baseball caps will be grounded for one week. Also, if it is raining and you wear your gore-tex to keep dry, you will be grounded for one week. Further, if you have food stuck between your teeth you will be grounded. And if you smile at any time, even at home, you will be grounded. And finally, if you don't like brocoli you will be grounded. Happy happy joy joy.
99-72
INTERIM CHANGE, IC 99-26
SUBJECT: YOFAM Weekend Flying Program
Posted 1 December 1999
If any of you or your worthless families actually believes in this YOFAM B.S., you are wrong. It is merely a feeble attempt of THE MAN to pretend that he cares. So, until further notice, all flying squadrons will be on 24-hour ops every weekend from now until the end of the world (support agencies, of course, will have all weekends off and every Friday off as well.) Suck it up and kiss your families goodbye. In this Holiday Season, you should just be thankful that I don't send you to a tent in the desert... again...
